Coffee, Cake & Kink Forums

TransAmerica - Buffalo: Slavery Modern And Old

2009-03-31T08:47:12+00:00

Not an obvious place to stop doing TransAmerica, nor did we plan to visit it, either. Due to a change of Canadian immigration law while we were in NY, we need to de-tour to the Consulate.

We use the waiting time to explore the town and end up enjoying Buffalo’s engaging architecture and some of the best soup in our journey, in at the Buffalo Public Library, as unexpected as our pit stop. As we tuck into double mushroom soup, we pour over its life-changing experience.

It is something else entirely to spend one’s life playing with the slavery concept than to see its original ugly face. For in the Library’s Black History Room, for the first time ever, we see the original documents of the Colonial South, slave contracts and certificates.

It is seeing them up-close that shocks us rather thank known historic facts, the ugliness of detail. For we no longer recall history in our minds, we are looking in people’s faces, upfront and personal, and see them listed by name, age and gender and by how skilled their are.

A gang of sixty Negros, field hands, available for purchase, 1/3 in cash upfront, 1/3 in securities, 1/3 over next 2 seasons.

Mary, the only skilled woman in a “reproductive” gang of thirty two.

Four infants.

We study it all in silence, half-believing our own eyes.

We leave thoughtful and transformed. We know deep in our gut that we will never again be able to play with the modern “SM slave” concept – completely different though they are – without the haunting awareness of what the word meant, and still means, somewhere else in the world.

TransAmerica - New York, New York!

2009-03-31T08:29:10+00:00

After all of the movies and television programs we felt we knew the city before we arrived. How wrong we were! Yes, it is big, yes, it fast…yet it can still feel small and intimate.

We were staying in Vahni and Jonathan’s flat, the most fantastic base for our first ever visit to New York City (thank you ever so much!).

Sadly, we learn that things are pretty bare in New York event-wise, with the current Mayor closing down clubs and clamping down on dominatrixes and several big dungeons closures at Christmas. The meat-packing district in the West Village once used to have the coolest leather clubs and is now home to fancy restaurants and apartments. They are great in their own right, however we feel a touch of regret at having never experienced NY the old guard way. Thankfully, it’s business as usual for the Demask Ball, Kink in the Caribbean continues with their Miss Rubber World event and we also discover Paddles NYC club.

As our first stop, we visit Demask in the East Village, full of latex, leather and medical equipment. Staff are moderately helpful, but they warm up to us. Maybe we just looked like kink-gawkers, snapping shots of their shop window for the record.

We then pop in to a nearby “Toys in Babeland“, love the sweet jars of lubes in particular. Our online shop is fully operational throughout our travels, so it is very useful to get a good demo of toys before placing our own wholesale orders. We notice differences in price structure of many product lines, notably Fun Factory costing more in the US than Lelo, which is the reverse of European pricing.

We love Blue Stockings, an independent and great community bookshop, featuring a great selection of books, and a fair trade cafe. We never make it to Oscar Wilde Bookshop...

Even if kink is a little thin on the ground, you can’t fault New York for queer bars! There are some great places in town especially in the Village and around Christopher Street, including the fabled Stonewall Bar(http://www.thestonewallinnnyc.com), successor to The Stone Wall Inn. It is commonly considered the birth place of the the Gay Rights movement and original newspaper cuttings covering the riots now hang on the walls and make for a fascinating read. Since it ushered in the modern rainbow rights area, it seemed just the right spot to celebrate Obama’s Inauguration, with masses of complementary popcorn and red, white and blue Em & Ems. Some days later, on a repeat visits, the vibe was just as upbeat, chilled and inclusive, with queers of all genders super-friendly and great for playing with balls (i.e.pool).

We spend some time at an amazing LGBT centre (another good place to watch the inauguration was on the big screen). It seems New York is leaps ahead of London when it comes to LGBT services, many of which are organised by the centre and its library. Not everyone is aware that we used to have a LGBT centre in London, too, which sadly ceased operations a few years back.

Culture-wise, we find an interesting experimental theatre, and in particular “The Garden of Earthly Delights“ play at Minetta Lane Theatre.

We also have a stab at research capabilities of The NY Public Library and are fascinated by the story of a 17th century transgendered individual Thomasine AKA Thomas Hall. Baptised as a girl, s/he chose to present alternately as a man or as a woman depending on life’s circumstance. With clothing already the apparent determinant of gender, the good citizens of Virginia went to some lengths to determine what was in his trousers / under her petticoats, with the Courts finally sentencing Tomasine/Thomas to the wearing of garments of both genders at once as her/his punishment.

We go in search of “Sex in the City” and can attest to NY making any shoe fetishists happy. In just one day, we pick up 5 pairs of amazing heels at great prices, so sexy yet so comfortable!

Sonia seeks out 10/10 cheese cake at La Lanterna di Vittorio (be sure to grab a fireplace seat).

As we now have good cake and kink, all that is left is locating great coffee. We find a number of cool places, and love Think Coffee for its bookish vibe and Jacks for intimacy and an unusual coffee-brewing vat. However, we cannot find coffee which we liked quite as much as our own, and we once again appreciated how lucky we were to have Monmouth Coffee on our Covent Garden doorstep, and now in our online shop.

We do find superb teas, though, which inspires us to re-think the insofar tea-bag approach – leaf tea is definitely the way for the future, and in next CCK, there will be no more tea bags! We stumble on the original Teany tea shop, which we remember from its sadly short-lived Covent Garden appearance (Ex-Shorts Garden). Mc Nulty’s takes our breath away with the quality of their offering, and amazing vintage tea bins.

Our visit to Big Apple would not be complete without a visit to The Baroness, something of a NY kink institution, and a great place to get up to speed upon arrival. As it turns out, the lovely lady now known as Baroness, does indeed have “Baroness” in her passport. This is also where we encounter the most friendly staff who even invite us to a private bondage party on our last night!

TransAmerica - LA Angels, Naughty & Nice

2009-05-07T20:00:19+00:00

Our LA angel arrived in an unexpected guise, that of Stockroom‘s Layla.

While some of our meetings had been arranged for months, we also like to drop in on our partners to see how their businesses are run. With Stockroom, we called ahead to let them know we were in town and authorised wholesale pick-up of some of their items (soon online). The shop assistants, however, had no clue who we were until we had a good look around their new Sunset Boulevar store, and experienced customer service Stockroom style.

As customers, we get the friendliest of welcomes and superb assistance. As their only UK importer, we get a grand tour of the facilities, the office and the factory where Stockroom manufacture their leather merchandise. We know a well-run business when we see one, and Stockroom is impressive in more ways than one. A common kitchen, great atmosphere, “Employee of the Month” certificates… It’s reassuring to see that someone else shares our pride in running a kinky business, professional services and mainstream standards.

Layla releases her colleague at 11pm, and stays with us till nearly 2am. We buy up Stockroom’s complete stock of Janice Unveiled” (out of print), and pick up some Personal Shopper orders (where we hunt down custom items for those of you who request some).

As always, we check out LA LGBT centre, and attend the Transgender Perceptions moderated workshop (Fridays, 8pm). We are delighted to swap stories, both joyful and sad, and wind up sharing dinner with everyone (Thank you, Michelly!).

Incidentally, our LA adventure ends on a red Hollywood carpet. Touring Queen Mary, we bump into Tony Todd, of The Candyman, The Rock and 24’s General Juma. Crushing us with iron handshakes, Tony proclaims his love for Europe and Paris’s “beautiful women and wine” in particular. Our gift of Dorian Drake and Ray Leaning postcards secures us an invite to a film festival, where we watch in bemusement both the photo ops and the audience. Kink is alive and well in LA, and cheers that greet any onscreen action are as entertaining as the movie.

Wasted, we crash at the Topanga Canyon. On the morrow, we chill at Water Lily Cafe and head for the Mohavie desert.

Amidst Joshua Trees, Layla dutifully calls us. We sure can pick up more orders in San Franciso, and she has made all the arrangements for us.

Coffee, Cake & Kink Loyalty Card

2008-05-11T17:21:46+00:00

ONE MONTH LEFT: COFFEE, CAKE & KINK LOYALTY CARD

Hundreds servings of coffee and cake and goodies to the value of thousands of pounds, that’s how much we have given away on the Coffee, Cake & Kink Loyalty Card.

Introduced as a launch offer in December 2003, the Loyalty Card was originally valid for one year only, but has proved so popular that we have not had the heart to withdraw it. Due to a host of business reasons, it is time to put it to bed now so please kindly use any remaining credits by the end of June.

We first gave you thumbs up to use up your Loyalty Cards in December, and the six-months phase-out period will finish next month. We would hate anyone to lose the treats they have been looking forward to, so please kindly let your friends know, too.

Naturally, we will continue to look after you, and the loyal Coffee, Cake & Kink crowd in particular. Landlord adventures allowing, we hope to introduce electronic Loyalty/Gift cards, which would enable our online customers to benefit from discounts and special offers just like those who visit us in person.

Toronto - The Hamster is off the wheel!!!

2009-01-08T21:39:57+00:00

Hi everyone,

I thought this would get your attention, Sonia and Alana are alive and chasing the hamster, (s)he escaped the basement of CCK and headed to Canada.

We arrived on the 18th December in Oshwa on the outskirts of Toronto and was greeted by over 3ft of snow on the road side and minus 10, (minus 20 with wind chill), the snow had come early just in time for Christmas. This made Sonia happy as she could create Snow Angels and wrestle with me in the snow!

We are staying in Oshwa, home to GM Motors We are about 30mins by car from Toronto. It is a little slow here, in fact its come to a halt in terms of diversity, nobody walks, everyone gets in the car to shop or even get a coffee from the drive through.

However near our house we discovered by chance an alternative little church (Kidron Church) with a woman Vicar, so decided to show our support for Midnight Mass, venturing out in my trade mark long black jersey dress and my famous kinky leather boots. We were made very welcome by her and her female partner, it was such a picture perfect little church and her service reminded me of our own wonderful friend Father Alex, who ran Spirit Space at CCK, so it just goes to show there are champions of diversity in every community.

Just before Christmas we ventured into Toronto on the local train in search of the hamster, it was a beautiful sunny but cold day, we had a WALK on Lake Ontario, which tells you something about temperatures here:) It’s big, we could not see the other side of the lake (about 2 hours by ferry).

In Toronto Downtown, the streets and buildings look so familiar yet very different from the London, just like out of the movies and then we learnt that Toronto is a favorite filming for Hollywood, acting as a double for New York City. The Fairmont Royal York Hotel has played a role in many films including “That Old Feeling” starring Bette Midler, “Murder at 1600” starring Wesley Snipes, Sylvester Stallone’s “Champs”, “Bait” with Jamie Fox, John Cusack’s romantic comedy, “Serendipity”, and Russell Crowe’s boxing epic “Cinderella Man.”

A few interesting discoveries on our first visit was Yonge Street which once was the longest street in the world at 1,896 kilometers. We discovered several kink/queer businesses on/just off the street including North Bound Leather , who gave us a free DVD of their latest club night X-POSE, starring Midori and Circus of the Damned and nearby Buddies in bad times theatre LGBT theatre both flying the flag for kink! We are planning a trip to see ZONA PELLUCIDA & THE NEEDLE EXCHANGE .

While walking down a very windy cold street, near the famous CN Tower, Sonia spotted a sexy tattooed lady coming out of The Loose Moose and with that we dived inside to see what other sexy people we could find, her radar was working and we found a chilled out bar full of office workers and bikers. We discovered very good ribs and beer!!!

Still looking for the best Coffee and Cake in Toronto, have a few places on our hit list, should get to them before we leave. We have now been twice into Toronto and on our last trip got distracted by the Boxing day sales. Sonia was in heaven, not only all the clothes fit her, she needed to buy “Petite” for the first time in her life… Canadians like their women Big, I’m the skinny one! Still didn’t find the ultimate Coffee and Cake, but found Chicken wings, the hottest wings (The Canadians are mad about ch/dicks!!!) at a LGBT friendly bar/music lounge called Mitzi Sister

We still have not managed to catch the hamster and last we hear (s)he was spotted catching a Grey Hound bus to New York. So Sonia and I are heading tomorrow to New York, we will keep you informed of our latest attempts to catch him/her.

Hope that everyone is well, we hear Munch attendances are up after we moved!

TransAmerica - Sin City: Our Lucky Escape

2009-05-07T21:13:44+00:00

Across the Zion National Park, we arrive in Las Vegas. Dramatic landscapes give way to dramas of mankind.

A curtain of light stretches across the desert horizon, shimmering in the distance. At first it looks magical, like masses of Christmas lights, woven together so tightly one cannot tell individual lights. As we approach throughout the industrial estates we feel disquietingly like moths pulled towards the light.

We arrive at the Boulevard, and head for the car parks. We did not do our homework on Las Vegas, nor is stopping here part of the plan. It’s on the way from the Grand Canyon, so here we are.

Cirque du Soleil catches our eye, we like “Believe” in particular, with its gothic chic and handcuffs. It is a sell-out so sadly no tickets for us…Should have arranged this earlier, Coffee, Cake & Kink being “Cirque du Soleil ‘s official hangout” (as per our guest book, anyhow).

We spot a rainbow flag in one of the stores, with what appears to be a tiny gallery of erotica huddled up to its corner. Sadly, “Bite” at “Cathouse” turns out just another bar and nothing remotely promising is open.

We leave as soon as we can, and not soon enough.

On the outskirts of Las Vegas, we are rammed by a drunk driver. Faced with a jail term – a likely penalty for drink driving under Nevada State Law – she lies to police officers about who was driving (her passenger, apparently). Both are released with no consequence before we have a chance to recheck the facts. We plead with an LVPD officer attending to the scene to pull evidence off nearby cameras, sadly none are operational.

It’s 4.35am before we are free to go – no citation, a big dent in the car. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas…

This kink, we could have done without!

TransAmerica - San Francisco Wants Us!

2009-05-07T21:16:07+00:00

We had premises in San Francisco within an hour of arrival.

The word had spread that we would be coming and “if London doesn’t want us…”

We sit, somewhat stunned, nibbling on tacos and peanuts, listening to the litany of business opportunities and meetings lined up. The sun is setting over the Bay, its rays caressing the waters, and in the remotness of the Presidio, this abrupt bringing us down to earth and to business feels surreal.

We are staying with our friend Amy, an academic and an LGBT activist. A veritable intellectual, she is currently researching HIV in transgender youth and her bookshelves practically give way under the weight of LGBT literature. In the course of our visit, we will make a somewhat inadvequate endeavour to take some of it in, and will leave hungry for more of Amy’s conversations and hugs.

It’s our very first evening and Amy is a perfect hostess as well as a treasure trove of information. The LGBT community has finally been recognised as essential to the city’s character, and, for the first time ever, can lay claim to physical spaces and influence city planners. It just so happens a building or two are available and it just so happens we would be ideal tenants and it just so happens that… Amy puts us to shame with her knowledge of LGBT politics and social issues and knows all the “so and sos”.

Sure enough, our first lunch in San Francisco is with Carol Lee aka Scarlet Harlot, a queer filmmaker and activist. Active on the socio-political circuit for decades, she is commonly considered to have coined the very term “sex worker” and tirelessly campaigns for their rights.

We stroll to Carol’s Folsom Street studio, staffed to the rafters with porn and feather boas and gifts from her Whore Store, which she generously shares with us. Carol is packing her “campaign gear” reading for a trip to yet another corner of the States where it became admissible for the police to use condoms for DNA evidence against the girls (and boys!) and their clients. “This undoes a decade of safe sex”, Carol sighs, as she picks up boards, books and posters, a shock of red hair shaking in disbelief.

Next, we are off to Castro and oh-so-chuffed to see a massive rainbow flag! The wind is nearly ripping off the mast, with a howl of pride, joy, and freedom. We take it in for a while, a lump in our throats.

We catch the glimpse of Wild Card, and are in like a shot, exploring their naughty gifts and cards. Unique as we usually are, it seems somewhat strange, if a little less lonely, to see some of our lines here. We love wooden penis carvings, man-size, oh-so-strokable, earthy and potent.

Down the road fly many more rainbow flags. We make our way down the road, packed with sex stores but also also “regular” LGBT-run businesses. We stop at a gay DIY store to pick up tools for our camper van, and select some reading materials.

It is amusing to witness Alana being openly checked out.

We locate good cake at Sweet Inspiration but sadly struggle for coffee.

Surprisingly, we have no joy finding kinky art. A dash to a promising upstairs establishment reveals an impressive collection of “Instigators”, and vintage “Tom Of Finlands” but no art. “We closed a gallery last year”, one ex-owner informs us, “San-Franciscans are not as sophisticated as they would like. It ain’t San Jose, love”.

The following morning, we meet up the lovely people of Cleis Press, publishers of erotica and our long-standing suppliers. We check out new titles yet to come to the UK and settle in a nearby cafe with Kara. She is entertaining the idea of twin transgender publication, hot on the heels of their “Transgender Child”. She wants one part to focus on FTMs (Female-To-Males), another on MTFs (Male-To-Females), which she invites Alana to write. We have our hands full but those interested should get in touch.

We fall in love with Carol Queen at the very first sight. We catch her lecturing at (4 March), part of UCSF’s celebrations of National Health Awareness Week LGBTI. Picture greyish hair galore, a dress of purple fluff, vivid eyes sparkling with intellect and love, and a great sense of humour on top of all that.

Carol runs Centre for Sex & Culture, and as a well-known speaker and writer is here to suitably embarrass, educate and inspire wannabe doctors and medical school staff. She obviously enjoys their shocked expressions as she divulges just what safe sex issues they can encounter, complete with a rather “advanced” example of menstrual blood fetishists. As she dishes out good solid knowledge, too, and even the two of us learn more about “The Anatomy of Pleasure” and, a little later, that she already knows Coffee, Cake & Kink and us.

Jane Hardy (Greenery Press) suggests a meeting when she comes to town for International Ms Leather, unfortunately we will be down the Grand Canyon at the time. No luck meeting up with Jane Wiseman or Midori, either, something to look forward to next time.

TransAmerica - Nevada’s Brothels, Jerome

2009-05-07T21:12:10+00:00

We stumble upon a little town of Jerome by a lucky coincidence. We did not intend to stop here, nor did we intend to hang about. As we drive through, however, we can’t help but slow down, charmed by Jerome’s quirks. A stream-side open-air jacuzzi in a back garden, a nude sculpture on a side road, another nude bust in a gallery window… It looks like our kind of place, so we pull over.

Jerome, we learn, was once a booming copper mining town, and “the wickedest town in the West” (our instinct did not let us down!). As it’s fortunes turned, it then became “America’s largest ghost town”, to be then successfully re-invented as an artists’ heaven as retiring hippies descended there in the 80s.

As we explore Jerome’s nooks and cronies, we stumble upon “House of Joy“, a “brothel boutique”. It’s closed on Wednesdays yet we refuse to budge – we absolutely must have a peep inside. Luckily, it’s all local businesses here and owners John and Mary are nearby. We pull out all Coffee, Cake & Kink cards, they laugh and make us welcome. When they moved here from San Francisco (surprise, surprise), they bought Jerome’s historic brothel and re-opened as one naughty restaurant. As John shares the secrets of his perfect chocolate souffle, we immediately know why Conde Nast Traveller voted them one of the top 100 in the US… We laugh as he recalls “orgasmic” combinations of sex and sticky stuff, it all sounds all too familiar. Sadly, John’s motorbike accident put a stop to the restaurant and “House of Joy” now spreads joy of another kind, with Mary’s own range of cards, Betty Page bondage pics, toys and sexy knick knacks. We are especially intrigued by brothel tokens, and Mary treats us to one.

In the early days of the old West, we learn, when women were scarce and men, especially miners and cowboys, were young and full of vim and vigour, it was the solicitous and practical Madam who foresaw the need of catering for the unsuppressed desires of this neglected and lonely gentry. The big rush was on Friday and Saturday nights, Sundays were taboo. A customer purchased the token before ascending the stairs to the upper room, usually at the price of one silver dollar. It was then tendered to the girl of the customer’s selection, the usual receptacle was the girl’s stocking. Counting or “payoff” time was at daybreak when all the tokens were turned in for accounting. It was not uncommon for one girl in lush times to turn in as many as fifty tokens in one night’s work.

Cast from “House of Joy’s” original designs, ours entitles the bearer to “1 Screw, Bath & Beans”, in whichever order, although we are told girls liked to start miners with a bath. We love brothel tokens and wonder what would happen if we handed them out at Coffee, Cake & Kink to give to staff? Would it be a fun way to tip, or would we upset someone?

As we head out, we sense Coffee, Cake & Kink would work in Jerome, strangely enough. Whether or not Coffee, Cake & Kink would be welcome in any particular location is our personal test on how relax / open-minded any given place feels and Jerome passes in flying colours.

Beyond the mountains, in mining towns and throughout the dessert, multiple brothers flourish. We drive across expanses of Nevada and Arizona, spotting the ones discreetly tucked away like the “Shady Lady” Ranch, wondering at those erected proudly, the fairly tale castle-style, built with no seriousness of purpose other than having fun.

A Sign Of Life

2009-04-02T19:00:23+00:00

An email from a good friend arrived end of March… “It is time for you to come home and out of isolation. I mean, for God’s sake, The Apprentice started last night.”

Yes, it is time.

We are back in the UK, after a journey across America. We attended lectures, meet with our US suppliers and discovered hidden gems along the way. Funnily enough, we just couldn’t stay away from kink (or coffee, or cake) and wherever we went, you all went with us!

Hope you will enjoy the TransAmerica write-ups and the kink bits in particular.

TransAmerica - Malibu - Olivia: A Darling Or A Diva?

2009-04-02T06:00:57+00:00

Today, we are meeting Olivia. We had been informed that she may be too busy to spend much time with us, and are unsure whether to expect a darling or a diva.

We pick our way amidst the imposing residences on Malibu hills to finally locate her blossom-covered gate. We are on the way to Hollywood, and are starting to feel like that.

Dan, our wholesale contact of three years, is out to lunch. We are introduced to Joel, Olivia’s life & business partner, and immediately know we have encountered someone whose knowledge of all things erotic may exceed ours. Shelf after shelf of his spacious office is filled with erotic folios and memorabilia. Behind his back, a slide show screen saver – we don’t recognise more than a third of the images. Sensing our wonder, Joel pulls out one of his many albums to show us original vintage photos, a small sampling of his collection.

When Dan arrives, we are off to see Olivia.

We are led to a studio, the studio if we have ever seen one. Several gigantic windows opening up to a garden, all scents and masses of light. The lady of the house emerges from behind canvases, all black curls, jumper and smiles. She gives us the warmest of welcomes and apologises for “naughty boys”, her two gay doggies trying to shag. So, not a diva.

All around us, is an amazing sampling of Olivia’s art. We see her latest Cadbury bunny being all “sexed up”. With Easter around the corner, Cadbury approached Olivia to create a more saucy incarnation, just to chicken out. We look in disbelief at the rejected projects, and agree that “the old bunny sucks”.

Then off to work to sign calendars and books you have asked us to personalise. We are the only European importer of Olivia’s art and merchandise, and more happy than ever about that.

We manage a preview of artwork for Massumi Max’s new cosmetic line before being shoved out by Dan (see picture here). The lady of the house is as courteous as ever, and gives us a great big hug.

We can’t stop thinking of Ray (Leaning), and what he would give to have a studio full of southern light. We are delighted to have met another artist of his high calibre, and dig out his “Stage Show” postcard for Olivia.

Unexpectedly, Dan gifts Olivia souvenirs to us and we leave astounded by everyone’s charm.